One day, a college professor gave the students in his chemistry course an essay project with the following question: Is Hell endothermic (absorbing heat) or exothermic (giving off heat)? Students were to give proof to support their theories. Most of the students gave proof of their theories using Boyle's Law, which states that gas cools as it expands and heats up as it is compressed, or some variant thereof. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell, and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will stay there for eternity. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
"As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's take a look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that anyone who is not a member of their religion will go to Hell. Since there is more than one religion with this belief, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.
"With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
"1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
"2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will drop until Hell freezes over.
"So which is it?
"If we accept the postulate given to me by Miss Theresa Banyan during my freshman year, that 'it will be a cold day in Hell before I have sex with you,' and take into account that I still have not succeeded in that area, then (2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."
This student got the only A.